In Lawrence Luckinbill’s one-man show about Lyndon Johnson, he recounted the president’s reaction to a flowery introduction: “Whenever I’m introduced like that, I always wish my parents were alive to hear it; because my father would have enjoyed it… and my mother would have believed it.”
I have a tendency to fish for compliments. Once I recognized that, I tried to put up a few fences to keep me from fishing in the wrong pond. Here are some of the inner admonitions God gave me to avoid compliment-poaching:
Develop a keen ear for “pathetic.” I often sound pathetic because I often am pathetic. “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks,” according to one well-placed source (Matthew 12:34). My daughter’s poodle cries whenever he is put outside. When she gets home from work, he cries. When she won’t pick him up and hold him on her lap, he cries. He sounds pathetic because he is pathetic. Attention-craving is pathetic.
Develop a gag reflex for self-centeredness. In Scripture’s most cheerful piece, Paul still has to warn, “All seek their own” (Philippians 2:21). Craving self-esteem does not enhance our behavior. It enshrines weakness. To quote one psychologist: “You don’t have an inferiority complex; you truly are inferior.”
Develop an interest in others. I may sing “Jesus is the sweetest name I know,” but that’s a lie. Jesus most certainly is not the sweetest name I know; Greg is. I heard of a woman who bragged non-stop about herself to a friend, and then stopped and said, “But that’s enough about me. Let’s talk about you. What do you think of me?” I’m a little more subtle than that when I fish for compliments- but not much.
A famous actor said that he thought it was ridiculous for celebrities to avoid the public. It was his practice to strike up conversations with cab drivers and waitresses and hotel employees and ask them about themselves- their kids, careers, history, favorite music, etc. “People are really fascinating, if you take the time to actually listen to them. Something from almost everyone I have ever met has ended up in one of my characters.”
Paul’s comments to the Thessalonians were joyfully placed in the context of personal appreciation: “We give thanks to God always for you all, making mention of you in our prayers, remembering without ceasing your work of faith, labor of love, and patience of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ in the sight of our God and Father…” (1 Thessalonians 1:2-3, NKJV).
Install an “OFF” Switch. Shut up once in a while.  Sometimes I don’t comment on a statement so much as I try to top it. “Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace; When he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive,” (Proverbs 17:28). That one was really hard. It still is. But that’s why I’m a “developing” pastor, not a “developed” one.